


When I think about you, I touch myself

by TheSpaceHairAndTheSpaceIdiot



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: F/M, Masturbation, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 15:20:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15415866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSpaceHairAndTheSpaceIdiot/pseuds/TheSpaceHairAndTheSpaceIdiot
Summary: Huffing out the last of his indignant laugher, Matt fixed her with a salacious grin, his eyes training on her like he would a present under the Christmas tree. She knew his next question would be a doozy. She couldn’t lie, even to herself: she was more than a little looking forward to the next inappropriate question."Okay, Kingston. Your turn now." She could see the cogs turning in his head, his mind obviously jumping between the different options available to him, trying to decide which of his questions would yield the best results from her. When the corner of his mouth upturned into a tiny smirk, she knew he’d decided. "Tell me something kinky."





	When I think about you, I touch myself

**Author's Note:**

  * For [if_i_be_waspish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/if_i_be_waspish/gifts).



> So... it's not the next chapter of my orgy fic, but it's something?? I promise I'll get back to that soon, but Nat made me write this first. Blame her. I hope you enjoy! And remember, I am a needy turtle who thrives off comments.

The night really had had started innocently. Entirely innocently. When Matt had first suggested an evening of running lines followed by dinner on him as a way of apology for spilling yet another cup of tea on her, she never would have expected it to lead to where they were now. And yet, Alex now found herself sitting on the ragged sofa in his flat, legs curled protectively under her and her third glass of wine nestled securely in her hand, trying her best to keep her composure as Matt regaled her with a story about his less than promising first time. 

Obviously seeing the laughter fit to burst out of her, Matt’s tone changed instantly from embarrassed to defensive. "Hey! I was seventeen! How many seventeen year old lads do you really think perform at an impressive level like _that_?"

"Darling, not many men in general perform at _any_ kind of impressive level," she chuckled, finally letting herself express her amusement, feeling only a small modicum of guilt in the face of his red face and indignance. "I’m generally content with 'not a flaming train wreck'. Please tell me you at least finished her off after?"

"Of course I did!" he scoffed, the wine in the glass held in his own hand sloshing around the edge. It threatened to fly out at the erratic movements of his arm as he gesticulated in front of his face. "What kind of ungentlemanly brute do you take me for?" And his wild, untamed movements quickly turned into a crass miming of exactly how he’d put his fingers to use in his story. 

Somehow, once their lines were sufficiently read and memorized and once their takeaway dishes were cleared, the wine Matt had offered up from his cupboards had called to them. When the first glasses had been downed and the second were near finished, the alcohol racing through their bloodstreams had encouraged several rounds of… _oversharing_. She wasn’t entirely clearheaded enough to remember who had started with the first overtly personal question, but they had both surely shared more than they would be completely comfortable with come the morning. Joining Matt’s story about his premature finish the night he lost his virginity was Alex’s own about losing hers in the back of some dilapidated, barely-functional car belonging to her first serious boyfriend whose last name she hardly remembered, as well as tales about mid-performance quickies in the props closet backstage and outdoor trysts that had ended in terribly embarrassing injury. 

It was all in good fun. Over the years, she and Matt both had engaged in what she liked to think of as _overly-candid interviews_ , neither one of them particularly good at keeping the kinds of details most people would keep quiet, well, quiet. It was rather fun to partake in a conversation such as this, with her tongue just a little loosened by the wine, helping to boost her bravery and brashness all the more. Matt may be young, but he was far from inexperienced and his previous stories had put to rest any doubt she may otherwise have had about his ability to grow from his first sexual encounter into a man well able to hold his own in bed. And thus, able to take hearing wild and crazy tales from her own spotty, misspent youth. Maybe some from her not-so-youthful days as well. 

Huffing out the last of his indignant laugher, Matt fixed her with a salacious grin, his eyes training on her like he would a present under the Christmas tree. She knew his next question would be a doozy. She couldn’t lie, even to herself: she was more than a little looking forward to the next inappropriate question. 

"Okay, Kingston. Your turn now." She could see the cogs turning in his head, his mind obviously jumping between the different options available to him, trying to decide which of his questions would yield the best results from her. When the corner of his mouth upturned into a tiny smirk, she knew he’d decided. "Tell me something kinky."

She laughed. "What?"

He situated himself on the sofa, his arm supporting his head and he peered at her with renewed interest. "Tell me something kinky about yourself. Something you like. What’s something a little weird that gets the great Alex Kingston all hot and bothered?"

"Darling, there are a number of kinky things in my past. I’m a woman of many likes. Just go through my interviews and take your pick-"

"Something you wouldn’t just go and tell the world on late night television. But now that you mention it, what exactly _did_ you mean by being a "triple threat" in the bedroom anyway?"

 _Good lord._ That very recent interview she’d given had certainly been one of the slips she regretted most. That and the bloody rabbit interviews. There was candid and then there was stupid. Harmless, filthy conversation with Matt was one thing, but a radio interview broadcast to thousands was another thing altogether. She’d certainly not intended the remark in a sexual way, but as soon as the words were out of her mouth, their inferred meaning became immediately clear. And really, it’s not as if she _wasn’t_ …

She shook herself. She was getting off-topic. "You’re a smart boy. I’m sure you can use your imagination and figure it out." She smiled enigmatically as she took a sip of her wine before setting the glass down on the table next to her.

"You can bet I’ve been using my imagination _thoroughly_ since I heard you say it," he told her, his eyes darkening just a touch, and really, with the mental images she was sure had to be going through his head, she couldn’t blame him. 

But it was that, her own mental image, true or not, of what Matt had likely been doing as he used that imagination of his which sent a frisson on heat pooling in her stomach. And suddenly she had an idea for how to answer his question. If she was daring enough to actually _say_ it, at least. 

She steeled herself, doing her best to remain composed and casual, determined not to betray the sudden arousal racing through her body. "All right then. You want something kinky?" She waited for his grinning nod before continuing. "I like to… watch."

She could tell he was intrigued, a grin spreading quickly across his face, but also confused. Not unexpected, since she’d not exactly made herself clear. "Watch what, exactly?" he asked slowly.

She hesitated, knowing this was her last chance to back out, to tell him something far more innocent. Or at the very least, something that wasn't actually true and didn’t give him a close, personal look at her sex life in such an intimate way. But she hadn’t lied so far tonight and she doubted very much that he had either. She didn’t want to start now. "I like to watch… men." She cleared her throat, dislodging the ball of nerves blocking her from finishing her thought. "Touching themselves."

She forced herself not to look away, not to avoid his gaze as she made her confession, and she’s glad she did. If she hadn’t, she wouldn’t have seen the curious look on his face change a second later to one of shock. His eyes widened and his jaw hung just a little slack. He hadn’t been expecting that. And Alex did so love to surprise people, even at the expense of her own dignity. 

"You- you like to watch men… jacking off? That’s your kink?" He licks his lips and she can tell his throat has gone dry as he struggles to speak. "That’s what turns you on? Guys having a wank?"

Alex’s resolve broke. She laughed, her mortification giving way to self-deprecating giggles. Her hand came up to cover her face, hiding from his view as she felt the red crawl slowly over her cheeks. This was worse than claiming to be a triple threat or Nurse Ratchet in her bedroom or talking about her vibrator with Craig Ferguson. This was far more difficult to not feel awkward about divulging, particularly in a one-on-one conversation. She nodded, still shielding herself from view and shaking with laughter.

"Could you - er - could you tell me more about that? What is it about it that you… like?"

Alex forced her hand down from her face and glanced up at Matt. Unlike her, there was no longer any trace of amusement in his voice. He was just _staring_ at her, eyes dark, face carefully controlled, and his free hand laying on his thigh, fingers dug into the dark jeans he wore. Her laughter petered out. The situation was no longer quite the picture of hilarity it was a moment ago and a jolt of electricity shot down her spine as she thought of how best to frame her answer. 

"I don’t know exactly," she answered softly, slowly working her way through her thoughts, trying to give him an honest answer. "I suppose there’s just something… wonderfully erotic in the image. Some handsome man, naked, aroused. Taking himself in hand, and just, pleasuring himself. Giving himself exactly want he wants without holding back at all. Seeing what he likes. The long strokes, how he twists his wrist to get the movement just right. Imagining what’s going through his head as he does it. Maybe imagining that it’s me he’s picturing in his head." She averted her eyes again, focusing on the stitching of the fabric on his sofa, her fingers deciding on their own to play with the frayed edge. "Is that ridiculous? 

" _Christ_ ," he swore gently, and a quick peak up at him showed his eyes closing briefly against the image she was surely putting in his head. She could see his grip on his leg tighten. "I don’t think you need to _imagine_ any man with a pulse doing that with _you_ in his mind. I’m fairly certain most blokes in the UK have at some point or another already."

She felt a wild laugh bubble up in her chest. She was just getting ready to reach her arm across the expanse of the sofa and slap his arm for his cheek when she took notice of the look on his face. Because still there was no hint of amusement on his face, no indication that his words were one in a long string of flirty teasing throughout the years. His words gave her pause and moved her to uncover her face from view so as to study his meaning more intently. Surely, he wasn’t _serious_?

Still, she found her wits enough to wring a reply from her suddenly dry throat. "Well, that’s the problem, darling. 'Most of the blokes in the UK' aren’t exactly at the top of my fantasy list."

She could _hear_ him swallow just as easily as she could see the movement of his Adam’s apple when he did. "What do you mean by that?"

If only she could hear what was going through his mind as well as she could hear each of his tiniest movements. Then she would have a better idea of just how guilty she should feel for the building ache between her thighs and the utterly filthy images suddenly blooming across the inside of her eyelids every time she blinked. "I mean that good content is incredibly hard to find, believe it or not," she said with just a hint of salaciousness. If she’s going to do this, admit one of her biggest kinks to him, she’s not going to keep acting ashamed of it.

There was a beat of silence before Matt replied. "You mean porn?" His voice was even and neutral, restrained, and _God_ , how she hated him for it. 

She responded only with a pointed look, giving him all the confirmation he needed. A jolt of satisfaction ran through her when she saw his cheeks become tinged with the faintest shade of pink. 

He was still staring at her, his eyes trained intently but she could see the cogs working in his brain. "You watch porn of men wanking…" He trailed off for a moment, his attention wavering and shifting momentarily to the picture in his head. She fights the urge to hide her face in mortification again. "And you… have trouble finding good content? I’d have thought that would be easy to find a ton of. Men as a general group tend to like showing themselves off like bloody peacocks every chance they get." His head shook, slightly dazed, as he spoke. A small smile had crawled back on his face, but his stare was no less intense. 

"There’s plenty of content, but hardly any of it is _good_."

His grin widened and the wolfish look upon his face sent a rush of heat pooling in her stomach. Oh, this evening was a _very_ bad idea. 

"What constitutes _good_ material in your book?"

"Well, to start with, most of men on those sites who upload videos like that aren’t _men_ at all. They’re _boys_. Eighteen, nineteen, twenty year olds who are _far_ too young for me to be at all interested in. Living in their parents’ basements, keeping silent for fear of being caught and bloody _grounded_. Either that or the men who _are_ older, are very rarely attractive or at all my type." 

She couldn’t believe the words coming out of her mouth were her own. Yes, she had a rather large mouth at the best of times. Yes, she’d talked about her vibrator on television and made innuendo after innuendo in interviews and panels and just everyday conversation with passing strangers in the street, but this was different. This was something deeply personal and this conversation deeply intimate, despite the interweaving lightheartedness. Not to mention the fact that she was suddenly confessing such personal information and sharing such an intimate and heightened moment with a man who has starred in many a fantasy of hers throughout the years they’ve known one another. She felt filthy laying in bed and imagining his babyface between her thighs or even picturing him partaking in this particular fantasy she was describing now, but when the desire came upon her, she was rarely able to resist the urge.

The arousal running rampant throughout her body spurred her on further. "There’s never any… finesse to it. No style of substance. It’s some random man somewhere just getting off on putting himself on the internet. Or an actor who put on a show that just isn’t _real_ at all. It’s all so… _porny_. Which is not a style I’ve ever been particularly fond of."

Her eyes dropped back down to the loose thread on his sofa. She wondered if she worried at it enough, if she could make the hole large enough to crawl into and never have to see the light of day again. 

"Well, hey, if you ever need any new material, just let me know." She looked up sharply, Matt’s infectiously jovial tone, filled with mirth and cheekiness, piercing her embarrassed musings. "I’m not exactly porn star material, but I've got a camera. I could put on a show for you if you like."

"What?"

His face was lit up like a bloody firework show at the thought of his ludicrous suggestion. She didn’t know whether to love him for breaking the awkwardness or hate him for making a joke of something that part of her, a rather large part if she were honest with herself, desperately wanted but knew she could never have. "I can certainly do better than some eighteen year old in his parents’ basement at any rate. If nothing else, I’ve been at it a lot longer. And I’ve certainly got experience with using you as my own prime _content_ , so that’s part of your kink right there!"

 _'Oh, God.'_ Alex was fairly certain she was close to exploding. She knew he was kidding, knew he was just making a joke to lighten the mood and dispel the awkwardness, t make her feel a bit better about the big confession she'd just made, but the sound of his _voice_ saying all those things, _suggesting_ exactly what the space between her legs was throbbing erratically in want of, turned her insides into a sea of molten lava. It was too much. 

She longed to end whatever this ridiculous game was right now, to make her excuses and run back to her own flat while she still had any dignity left. She’d enjoyed it at the start, and if she were honest with herself, she was enjoying it still now. A little _too_ much. That was the problem. But she couldn’t just run off. Doing that, fleeing, would be the most obvious sign that she was affected, that she’d taken their fun little game of personal details and oversharing and turn it into something else, something _too_ personal. That she wanted something she was ashamed to admit. 

And so, hoping to avoid that, she played along, forcing a riotous laugh from her throat. "You’re terrible!" She swatted at him in midair, not trusting herself to move enough to actually touch him, afraid she may not be able to stop herself from doing something she’d regret if she felt the warmth of his arm under her hand. "Really, as _tempting_ as that offer might be, I don’t know if I’d ever be able to leave my bedroom again with something like _that_ at my disposal."

_Shit._

That may have been a step too far in sounding nonchalant. In her zealousness to not betray her embarrassment and hunger for him, she’d swung the pendulum in entirely the wrong direction, forcing herself even further into the very corner she'd been trying to escape. She felt a tingling sense of horror wash over her the second the words were out of her mouth. Once glance at Matt in the ringing silence that followed her statement saw him sitting there, eyes wide and mouth hanging agape. She was trying to imagine his response, willing one to come to her that made her feel less like crawling into a hole to die. 

What he ended up saying, however, was certainly not any of the responses she’d been anticipating. With a steely look in his darkened eyes, he said, "I could you know."

There was a ringing in her ears and a lead weight was sinking its way down through her stomach. She felt the intense need to shake her head to dispel these new cloudy distractions and focus, but that would draw way too much attention to her current state of fog. She settled for just licking her lips instead, restoring moisture to the suddenly dry skin. "You could… _what_?" she asked with a furrowed brow. 

His gaze never wavered, still set determinedly on her, dark and focused and intense, like he was trying to see something not visible until this very moment and he couldn’t bear to miss another second’s glance at it. "I could provide you with some new material. For you to… use. If you like."

The ringing had stopped. Now there as just silence. Too much silence. How could she _think_ with silence this deafening? She was pretty sure Matt had just _seriously_ offered to… but she _had_ to have heard wrong… because there was _no way_ … "I’m sorry, darling, but did you just offer to- to…"

"To make a video of me touching myself. For you. Yes." he said quietly. His voice had dropped at least two octaves from just a moment ago when he’d been joking. There was a slight scratchiness to it that showed she was hardly the only one having trouble using her voice. But the offer still managed to come through so smoothly, with so much confidence, with assurance that the words he said were ones that he did indeed mean to say. That this wasn’t a joke. That she needed to respond to him somehow and she had no idea how, because of course she _wanted_ him to, but how could she possibly _admit_ that?

"Matt… I don't know…"

"No! Just…" He shuffled forward a bit along the length of the sofa, bringing himself closer to her end. "I mean, no pressure, yeah? I don’t want to make things weird between us or have you thinking I’m some creepy pervert." He reached in closer and took her hand between both of his. "But this is something I… could do for you. If you want me to."

Alex's lips felt suddenly dry. Her tongue darted out, wetting them. She felt powerless against the words about to roll off her tongue. "I can't deny that I may have… pictured you… a time or two throughout the years." She wanted to _die_.

Matt's reaction, however, was one of jubilant interest. His eyes remained as dark and intense as before, but the hopeful grin he threw at her could brighten his whole flat. "You have?"

She couldn't exactly shut up _now_ , could she? "Are you really all that surprised? You have a very… appealing look about you, and coupled with the outrageous flirting, it's only natural that my mind would sometimes… stray, against my better judgement."

"So… you'd like me to?" There was a sudden hesitance in his voice, like now that he knew it was something she might actually want, he didn't want to get his hopes up in case she still said no.

Every time she opened her mouth, something worse came out, but she just couldn't help herself. The image Matt had put in her head was very clear and it was clearly having an impact on her already poor impulses. She put her free hand to her head, fingers framing her forehead as she forced herself to bloody _think_. "Of course I want you to. What sane woman wouldn't _want_ you to, Matt?" She pushed a stray curl back behind her ear and shut her eyes against the excited grin she knew would instantly don on his face. "But I don't know. You can't. I can't. _We_ can't. It's a _terrible_ idea.

"What's so terrible about it?" he asked earnestly, gripping her hand tighter and shifting his body even closer. "I want to. You want me to. We're both adults. Professionals, who can put this aside once we get to work tomorrow. Let me do this for you, Alex."

"We're both professional until the very moment we're not. What if this… changed things? What if I let you and you realize what a mistake it was? What if I watch your recording and… want more?" She paused for a beat, thoughts swirling around her head in the weighted, heavy silence. "What if I do something stupid, something mortifying, that our friendship couldn't withstand?

Her words surprised even her, the horrifying honestly in them betraying one of her deepest fears, ones that had plagued her almost as long as she'd known Matt: that all-encompassing need for _more_. It was never satisfied, always left her craving more time, more contact, more _him_. She was afraid if she let him do this, if she let him make a video of him touching himself, that she wouldn't be happy with just that for long. That her desires, which had until now been kept mostly at bay, would only grow into an uncontrollable beast if she fed it what it desired.

And she'd essentially just confessed that to him. So much for their withstanding friendship. But as she locked eyes with him once more, he still hadn't moved. He hardly even showed any outward reaction. Still, he stared at her like she was all he was capable of seeing, and still, he held her hand in both of his, a comforting anchor in the terrifying sea her life had just become.

"I don't know about our friendship, Alex, but I do know that first, nothing could possibly happen to make me regret doing this for you. And second, there is literally nothing you can do to me that would in any way be unwelcome."

She heard his words, understood his meaning, but that was too big, too complicated to examine properly now. She screwed her eyes shut and shook her head, focusing instead on the main issue at hand.

"I still don’t understand… why would you-"

He sensed her impending question, understood she'd changed gears and went back to the original topic, and cut her off at the pass. "Because this is something you like. Because the idea of you over in your flat or back home in LA getting off to a video of _me_ is hot as hell. Because thinking about you makes me feel good and I’d really like it if thinking of me were to make you feel good too. Because…" He paused briefly, obviously gearing himself up for another confession, which Alex did her best to brace herself for. "Because I’d do anything for you," he finished softly.

Alex had never before felt the literal sensation of having her breath stolen from her. Not because of exertion, or anger, or laughter, but real, genuine breathlessness. The kind that came from being surprised and so incredibly touched, and like just _maybe_ she would be safe with her heart in his care. 

Matt's expression hadn’t changed, nor had his closeness to her. The piercing look in his eyes held heat and hunger, but also a look that made her feel oddly cherished. His hands were still clasped near-desperately around hers and while she could feel a slight tremble in her fingers, his were as still and confident, steadying as a rock. His steadfastness grounded her, kept her present in the moment instead allowing her mind to run rampant with countless scenarios that would send her running for the hills. 

"Matt…" she repeated his name, entranced, head spinning and unable to formulate any other word. And that really was ok since she still honestly had no idea what else to say to him, how to respond to his insane, but oh-so-tempting suggestion. 

Before she knew it, he was swooping down in front of her and his lips were on hers, a burning intensity propelling him. Caught off guard though she was, Alex could do nothing but kiss him back, lips locked against his before parting and allowing him to venture inside her mouth. She was so caught up in the delicacy of the kiss, with his focus and tenderness as his lips and tongue explored her, that she barely noticed one of his hands reach up to frame her cheek. 

What she did notice, however, was him using the hand still wrapped around hers to guide her touch ever-so-gently from her lap over to his, placing her palm down on his thigh. She took that as the signal it was intended as: an invitation, beckoning her to explore further, to reach higher and _God_ , did she want to. The two parts of her warred with each other as she continued to kiss him: the cautious, logical, reasonable side that told her this was a bad idea, that he was too young for her. Older by far than the boys she'd mentioned from her online searches, but still hardly an appropriate age for _her_. And then there was the side of her that wanted to take the plunge, to feel exactly what he was offering up beneath his trousers, to accept the gift he was so tantalizingly bestowing, to give in to her long-dormant baser desires, to enjoy the sight of the man before her and use him for her own pleasure.

Alex generally considered herself to be a strong woman. She'd pulled herself back from the smoking train wreck that was her first marriage, survived and conquered the physical and emotional trials of infertility, built a successful career in the most cutthroat city in the world, and withstood a second divorce which nearly sent her back to the disastrous place as the first. These days, she felt there was very little she couldn't beat if she put her mind to it. But that also required that she actually _wanted_ to overcome the obstacle in her path. And there was no universe in which Alex, in the very core of her person, would not want to move her hand those few inches further and feel what lay beneath the now-obvious tent in Matt's trousers.

When her fingers moved, his moved with them. She glided around the edge of his thigh, over the front of his jeans and _oh,_ there he was. The feel of him, hard and throbbing and _hot_ , even through his layers of clothing, sent a spark of electricity through her body. Her fingertips trailed the length of him briefly, and he did indeed have quite a bit of length over which to trail, before she simply laid her palm flat over him and felt him pulse beneath her touch.

As she felt him, a low moan escaped his lips, sending waves of lust and pleasure echoing in her ears and igniting her own arousal even further. He broke their kiss, and when his lips pulled away, Alex found herself biting her bottom lip to avoid chasing after the taste of him. But he didn't go far, opting instead to rest his forehead against hers as they both gasped slightly for breath. His one palm still cradled her cheek, while the other held her hand between his thighs. She felt his grip on her hand exert a touch of pressure, holding her hand against him more firmly, allowing her to feel everything he had to offer.

"You feel that, Alex?" he asked in a breathless, broken whisper. "That's all you. That's what you do to me. That's what you _always_ do to me. That’s what you leave behind after every kiss we film, after every smile and flirty innuendo, after every bloody day we work together, and a hell of a lot of the ones we don’t. Because just the thought of you is enough to do this. If you don’t want this, then tell me and I’ll back off, no harm done, no questions asked. But if the idea of watching me touch myself to thoughts of you is at all something you’d be interested in, something you'd like to use when you're alone in your bedroom at night, then let me do this for you. Making you feel as good as you make me feel, even if I can’t actually touch you myself, would be my absolute pleasure. _Please_ let me."

Alex did consider herself a strong woman, but even the strongest woman alive couldn't deny herself something she wanted so desperately when it begged her so prettily. She felt herself break and only hoped she could trust him to put her back together again.

She felt, in equal measure, possessed and yet more lucid than ever before in her life as she answered as determinedly as she could muster, "Okay."

"Okay?" Matt asked her, pulling back from her to take her in properly, like he needed to be sure she wasn't a hallucination. Her hand slipped off his clothed erection and folded back into her lap.

"Yes," she answered, more confidently, even managing to fit a smile to her face. _In for a penny, in for a pound_. "If you're sure. Then yes, Go ahead. I… I'd appreciate it quite a lot. Thank you, darling."

She leaned in closer to him and pressed a grateful kiss to the corner of his mouth. She was only half surprised when he pulled her back in with a hand in her hair and kissed her again, this time enthusiastically, lips moving over hers with glee and energy and excitement. When she tasted him on her tongue, she allowed herself to feel his frisson of excitement.

She let the kiss go on longer than she probably should have. This wasn't a start of them becoming anything. This was him, going into his room at some point in the near future and having himself off in front of a camera for her. But if they were going to share in something so intimate, a couple of heated kisses surely wouldn't make things any more awkward on set.

When the kiss finally ended and they both sat staring in lightly-gasping awe at each other, Alex glanced around the room, gathering her thoughts. When she finally spoke again, she found herself hating herself for her words. "I should probably go."

Matt hid his disappointment like the best of them, but Alex saw through him easily. "Yeah, yeah you're right. You probably should. It's getting late and we've got to be on set in the morning." She saw him worry at his lip and wondered what would come spilling from his mouth next. "But…"

"But what?"

"But I'm probably gonna head inside about five minutes after you leave and get this done right away. It's kinda the perfect time for it," he said with a chuckle and quick glance to the sizable bulge still visible in his jeans. "It's just… you could stay?"

 _Good lord_. "Stay? You mean…?"

He nodded. "You could stay and watch. If you want to, that is. I get that it may be a bit too awkward, so if you don't want to, that's fine. But you're more than welcome to stay. I - er- I'd quite like it actually."

She didn't even give herself the opportunity to talk herself out of it. She couldn’t even have imagine it a mere moment ago, but being in the room, watching live as he worked himself over for her enjoyment was not something she'd be able to forgive herself for turning down. “ _God_ , yes.”

Looking like the cat who caught the canary, a naughty grin spread across Matt's jubilant face. "I'm not God, Kingston, but I'm pretty sure we'll both be calling for him before the night is over."

As a laugh bubbled up through Alex's throat, Matt shot her a flirty wink, grabbed her hand, and pulled her up from the sofa. He tugged her excitedly towards his bedroom and as she followed, doing her best not to trip over her own feet in their haste, she found herself already picturing the filthy scene that awaited her on the other side of the door.


End file.
